Wounded
by Todokanunegai
Summary: YYxYB Let's wander into the mind of one of the YGO characters, shall we? What'll we find? Maybe more than we think. Dark themes, angst, shounenai. Complete
1. Cutting Secrets

This came to me when I was in the shower…stupid Bakura muse has horrible timing…this is kind of dark and may be depressing.  

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh…::cries::

Warning: Dark, possibly depressing and shounen-ai hints.  Slight OOCness.

Wounded – Cutting Secrets

What would they say if they knew?

Would they even care?

These scars, they're getting longer, deeper and more frequent.  I'm running out of room.

These dark lines mark almost every part of my pale skin that my hand can reach.  

I don't even bother covering them up like I did at first.

No one notices them.  Or at least no one questions them.  Anymore.

When they had tried, I had shot them down with a glare and told them to mind their own fucking business.

So no one asks.  I don't even think Ryou knows.  Or if he knows, he doesn't say anything, which is perfectly fine with me. 

I'd rather he not know.    

Why the hell am I doing this?  I'm actually writing in this journal thing that Ryou got me…

Ra…I've turned into a sissy or at least I'm getting soft.  Not good!  It's all Ryou's fault!  Ooh…I have to pay him back for turning me soft!

Ok, so I'm avoiding the real question.  Why am I cutting?  Because it causes pain and I like pain.  

Someone else's preferably, but ever since I've quit beating Ryou, there hasn't been anyone that I could cause pain to without getting into trouble.  

Psh.  I told you I was getting soft.

And because it reminds me of _him_.  Yes.  _Him_.  I refuse to write his name.  I simply refuse to.

The crimson liquid that flows from the wounds reminds me of him.  Those vibrant pools of blood red.  

You can drown in them…I should know, I have.  

But I don't often get the chance to because he's my enemy…  He's NOT my friend.  

We hate each other.  H-A-T-E, hate each other.  Get it?  Good, don't you be getting any ideas!

It's his fault that I'm doing this.  All these cuts on my skin, their darkness contrasting against the paleness of my body, they're all because of him. 

He aggravates me and makes me feel this strange feeling that I don't like!

Damn that high and mighty Pha-bastard.  

I told you, I am not writing his name!  

He thinks he's so damn good and that I'm just a worthless Tomb Robber.  

Hah!  I'll show him.  That heartless asshole!

Wait just a minute…I sound like I want him to care…NO!  I don't! That came out wrong!

I mean, I think he _needs_ be brought down a good few notches.  That would teach him.  

Short fern head freak.  

Gr…damn…I forgot that this actually hurts.  

Interesting…this razor is making three cuts across my skin rather than one…very interesting…I think I'll just use this from now on.

Hm…such a bittersweet taste, blood…I wonder what his tastes like…I would like to hear him scream my name in pain and- never mind.  

I'm pushing the razor harder against the skin and dragging it firmly across.  

Oh…some skin came off…this is rather motivating.  More pain…this way there is more pain and more blood.  Good.  

I'm watching fascinated as the blood pours from the wounds…shoot…it just stained this…oh, whatever that doesn't matter.  

I can't believe I'm still writing.  

Yum…I really do enjoy the taste of blood…the liquor of life.  The fluid of pain.  

It's so addictive…hmm…

This will leave another scar.  Perfect.  Another reminder of the pain he's caused me.

Damn him!  Grr…well at least you can't talk.

I don't need the world thinking that I'm some kind of wuss.  

They don't need to know I feel pain too.

Bah…as if they would give a shit.  They leave me alone and I leave them alone.  

They have their image of me and I'd like to keep it that way.    

In their eyes, I'm the big bad, sadistic, cold, evil Tomb Robber who doesn't give a shit about anyone else but himself and power.

I DON'T!

I like that image they have.  It keeps them scared.  Muahahahahaha…. That way they leave me the hell alone.  

I don't need stupid idiots messing in my life.  

And I definitely don't need _him_ rubbing in if he ever found out.  And he _never_ will! ::glares::  That's a threat in case you hadn't noticed.

The world doesn't care about me, _he_ doesn't care about me, no one does…although Ryou _might_.

That means nothing to me.  I could care less what they think.  Screw them all, they don't mean a thing to me.  

All I need is my knife or this razor that I've now taken a liking.  It's all I need, all I want.

Great…this should make another nice scar to add to my various other ones.  

Shit, I actually wrote this much already?  Geez…I hate to admit it, but this is actually relaxing…

Huh?  What's this?  Where's the water coming from, why is this page getting stained by water and not just blood?

Shit, shit, SHIT!  No, no, NO!  I am not!  I am not…I can't be…but…I am…I'm actually…crying…

RA DAMN IT!  It's _his_ fault.  All _his_ fault.  That I have these…these…emotions!  It's not fair!  I was better off cold…it hurt so much less…

Ok, I'm going to stop writing.  This is beginning to sound too sentimental.  

Thank Ra, you are a stupid notebook and nobody will ever read this.  Nobody better touch this.  Or ELSE.  

I'm going to put you away and clean up this blood.  Ryou's going to be back soon.  I don't need him to get suspicious if he doesn't know.  

Will these tears STOP ALREADY?!

Damn him!

Damn the world!  

Just leave me the fuck alone! 

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Well, how was that? 

LOL…who was it?  I'm sure you guys already know ^_^. 

Kinda strange…I know.  I have an idea for the next part.  But I'm not sure I'm going to continue this.

Tell me what you think and if I should continue!

Review please!

© Todokanunegai 4-16-03


	2. Painful Confusion

Second chapter.  The part that talks in first person is Bakura's journal entry.  Just to clarify.  Everything else is normal.

Yami Yuugi = Yami, Yami Bakura = Bakura and so forth. 

Disclaimer: Still don't own them.

Warning: It's dark.  There's cutting.  There is some OOCness.  Some shounen-ai hints.  Not for the sensitive of heart or little kids.  I've warned you.   

Wounded – Painful Confusion

"Ready to give up that Puzzle, Pharaoh?" Bakura sneered.

"Not in this lifetime, Tomb Robber," Seeing the look on Bakura's face, he added, "Or in any other."

"Why haven't I just killed you? It's not like that'd be too hard.  Then I'd be free to get that Puzzle without you being a nuisance."

"You're coming with me if I die.  Even in the afterlife, I'd refuse to give up the Puzzle easily, especially to the likes of you."

"At least I'd get the satisfaction of killing you.  Even if I don't get the Puzzle, you dying by my hand would be priceless.  I'd finally have my revenge for being trapped in this damn ring for so long."

"You're getting cocky, Thief.  It's not good for you.  How are you going to act when forced to eat your own words?"

"What do _you_ know, fern head?  You're just an ass who's still sitting on a fucking high horse.  Of course, you being your high and mighty self wouldn't have noticed that it'd disappeared from beneath you a long time ago." 

"Well, at any rate I know more than you do since I'm not a sadistic psychopath bent on world domination."

"You're such an asshole." Bakura spat out angrily, his temperament slipping slightly.

"At least I'm an asshole with a heart," Yami retorted, "which is more than I can say for you."

Bakura flinched, his brown eyes darkening and becoming impossibly colder.  He took a deep breath, reining in his slightly lost temper.

"What?  Cat got your tongue, Mr. Big Bad Tomb Robber?" Yami pushed.

Bakura turned a cool glare on Yami. "I don't care if you may know more than me about anything else.  But you know nothing about _me_, Yami.  Nothing."

He walked passed the Game King and left.  

Yami watched Bakura walk away, confusion etched on his face.

"He does have a heart."

Yami turned around; he had almost forgotten that Ryou had been with Bakura before.

"Excuse me?"

"He has a heart."

Yami gave Ryou a look that clearly stated the fact that he thought Ryou had gone crazy.

"You of all people should know that he doesn't have a heart.  He only cares for himself and his own satisfaction."

"I of all people know that he _does_ have a heart."

"Ryou, this is Bakura we're talking about…"

"I know.  Don't you understand Yami?" Ryou asked quietly, "He doesn't want anyone to believe he has a heart, but he has."

"And those beatings he put you through showed that…how?"

Ryou's brown eyes narrowed, reminding Yami somewhat of Bakura's. 

"He has changed.  He no longer beats me."

Yami raised an eyebrow, "Oh?  Since when?"

"For about the last year, Yami.  He's changed a lot.  And the only reason he had beat me in the first place was for my own good, to toughen me up."

"You've forgiven him?  After all that hell he put you through?"

"Yes!" Ryou said fiercely, "He was in a lot of pain and I was the closest thing within his reach so he lashed out at me."

"Bakura?  In pain?  That's a laugh.  That cold bastard?"

SLAP 

Yami staggered back slightly. "What the hell was that for?"

Ryou glared at him.  "You're the heartless bastard, Yami!  You're not giving Bakura a second chance, not even allowing him to change.  He _is_ right.  You've definitely been sitting on that high horse of yours for too long.  He might not have been the nicest person in the world, but everyone has a heart.  His was just buried more than everyone else's.  You've treated him like he's worthless, Yami.  And you say he's heartless?  Is it even possible to hold a grudge for three thousand years?  Where is _your_ heart?"

The spirit of the Sennen Puzzle paled. "How…did…you…?"

"I just do, Yami.  I suggest you think over what I've just said.  If you need any proof, I'll bring it to you tomorrow."

"What?"

"I don't want him to do anything drastic, Yami.  I want him alive." Ryou murmured as he walked past Yami.

Once again, the spirit was left standing alone, staring in the direction the two white haired boys had gone off in.

"What…is going on…?"

The winds rustling the leaves were his only answer.

~*~*~*~

I hate _him_.  

I hate his arrogance.  

I hate his holier-than-thou attitude.  

Who the fuck does he think he is?  

He doesn't know shit about me and yet he dares to tell me that I have no heart?

What does he know?

Ra damn it!  Where is the damn razor when you need it?  Grr…

This knife will have to do then. 

What is this that I'm feeling?  

Hate.

But there's something else to it.  This aching feeling in my heart.  

My heart.  The one that was suppose to be frozen.  Not there…

I feel as if I've forgotten something.  Something I should remember…But what is it?!

I need this.  This pain.  This physical pain.  

The blood means nothing to me.  It's only there to help me wash away this ache that I don't understand.  That I don't want to understand.

If he could feel remotely, just a little bit of what I'm feeling, what will he say?  

He'll probably laugh.  He doesn't give a fuck what I feel.  He wouldn't understand.   

Here's these Ra damn tears again.  Why do they insist on making an appearance?

Blood shows strength.

But tears show weakness.  

I'm not weak.

I'm strong.

I can't be weak.  I'm NOT!  I pressed the knife harder into the skin of my leg, tearing it viciously across.  This pain is nothing.  It's nothing.

I am strong.  

I have no weakness.  None…none…

The blood is flowing freely, now spilling carelessly onto the floor.  

I don't care anymore…I just don't give a shit about this anymore…

Fate hates me.

Well, I hate it too.

I am not weak.  I am not weak…I am not…

~*~*~*~

Ryou gently pushed open the slight ajar door and stepped inside.  

He winced as the smell of blood reached his nose.  

Ryou walked over, saddened as he stood momentarily, watching Bakura curled up on the bed in a fetal position.

He was asleep, a look of turmoil playing on his face.

His right leg was wrapped up in thick white bandages, but still, the blood seeped through.  

'Why do you do this to yourself, Bakura?' 

Ryou walked around the room, looking quietly, to be sure not to wake up Bakura.  

It didn't take as long as he though it would.  

Ryou removed the leather-bounded book from under the pile of Egyptian books in Bakura's desk drawer.

He turned and looked at Bakura, who looked as if he was in a great deal of pain.  

Ryou had to resist the strong urge to walk over and give his Yami a comforting hug, but he couldn't.

"I'm sorry, Bakura.  I really am.  But this is for your own good." Ryou whispered, before leaving the room silently.

"It was a mistake, just a stupid mistake.  I wasn't thinking…please forgive me…_please_ …Yami…" Bakura whimpered in his sleep, tears streaming down his face from his tightly clenched eyes.

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Well…um…yeah…the end of this chapter….

Hope you liked this.  Was it better than the first?  Or worse?  

Should I continue?

Review and tell me please!

© Todokanunegai 4-17-03


	3. Unexpected Truths

Thanks for the reviews ^_^…I know…I should work on other fics…but I'm on a roll with this one, so I'm finishing it before the inspiration runs out.  Well, then, enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: ::sighs:: Still no own them…

Warning:  Dark, depressing, shounen-ai (hints at the moment, more later on) and OOCness.  Not for the faint of heart or kids.  You've been warned!

-…- = Words from journal

Wounded – Unexpected Truths

"Hm? Oh hey, Ryou. Why are you here this early in the morning?" Yami yawned, rubbing the sleep from his half opened eyes.  

His question was ignored as an object was shoved roughly at him.

"Huh?  What's this?" Yami blinked.

The white haired hikari glared at him, "This is your proof, _Pharaoh_."

"Proof?  What are you talking about?"

"Proof that Bakura does have a heart.  Proof that he is only human."

Ryou turned to leave, but was stopped as Yami grabbed his arm. 

"What in the world is going on?"

"Read the damn thing and you'll figure it out.  Of course that is if any word in there gets through that thick skull of yours.  And these are the keys to my house.  After you've read every last word in there, I want you to go over there and talk to Bakura.  I don't care what you think after you read that, but you _are_ going to talk to Bakura, even if I have to drag you to him myself."  Ryou pushed a set of keys into Yami's hand and marched off.  

Yami stood at the doorway staring after Ryou until he was out of sight. 

His attention finally turned to the object in his hand.  

It was a leather-bounded book kept shut by a thick silver cord.

'Journal' was engraved in silver on the front.  

Yami looked at it curiously as he closed the front door and trudged upstairs.

He opened the door to his room and walked in, closing it behind him.  

He turned the journal in his hand and small lettering on the lower right corner of the back cover caught his eyes. 

_Bakura_.

Bakura kept a journal?  Since when? 

Now he was definitely intrigued.

Yami placed the key on his side table and situated himself comfortably on his bed.  

"Why does Ryou want me to read this?  Why was he so angry?  That was so unlike him."

He looked down at the book, but it just stared back at him, silently coaxing him to open it.  

"Well…it can't hurt to read something, right?  They're just words.  Words won't make any difference."

Oh, but words do make a difference and these words made all the difference in the world.

But the Game King had no idea how wrong he was…or the shock he was in for…

Yami unknotted the cord and opened the cover.  

- KEEP OUT!  Do NOT go beyond this page!  You shouldn't even be reading this page! Put this back now or suffer my WRATH!!!-

Ignoring that, Yami turned the page and started to read.  

This first entry was dated about six months ago. 

Crimson eyes looked bored as it scanned down yet another page.  "Why is Ryou making me read all of Bakura's complaining?  What kind of joke is this?"

Yami was about to shut the book and throw it away when a flash of red caught his eyes.  

He turned to the page and gasped lightly when he saw drops of red dotting the page.  

It didn't take him too long to realize that it was blood. 

This intrigued him and he started to read again, noting also that the pages were slightly wrinkled as if water had been splattered on it.  

His eyes widened in horror as finished the entry. "This has to be a joke…some sick, twisted joke…I'm not reading anymore…"

But Yami could not put the book down; it captivated him, fueling his thirst to know more.

To know more about Bakura.

His darkest secrets.

His deepest desires.

His greatest fears.

To see the heart behind the cold image.  

And dare to hope that maybe…just maybe…that…Bakura…still…did…

Yami shook his head, he was zoning out.  

He concentrated on what he was reading.  

Remorse coursed through him, increasing as he read more.  "Ra, Bakura…why are you doing this to yourself?  Why?  I'm not worth hurting yourself over…"

-What is this that I'm feeling?  

Hate.

But there's something else to it.  This aching feeling in my heart.  

My heart.  The one that was suppose to be frozen.  Not there…

I feel as if I've forgotten something.  Something I should remember…But what is it?!-

"He doesn't remember…he doesn't remember what happened…"

Yami finished the page and shut the book. 

His breathing hitched in his throat and tears slipped from his crimson eyes. "Oh Ra…I didn't know…I didn't know…Bakura…I never knew…"

He saw the keys on the desk and remembered what Ryou had said earlier.

Scrambling, he got dressed quickly and left the house, leaving a short note to tell Yuugi he had gone out.

~*~*~*~

"WHERE IS IT?  WHERE IS IT?!"  

Bakura tore through his room, searching frantically. "RYOU!!!"

He received no answer and quickly became aware of the fact that he was alone in the house.  

It was only 10 in the goddamned morning!  Where the hell was Ryou?  

But there were more important things for Bakura to worry about at the moment.  Like finding the journal that seemed to have mysteriously vanished.  

"Where the hell is it?  I know I left it beneath these books.  Where can it be?  Gr…Ryou better not have anything to do with this!"  

In minutes, the room was turned upside down. 

Bakura was so absorbed in finding his lost journal that he didn't hear the door open downstairs and someone walking up the stairs.

"Not here, no it's not here, not here…arg!" He groaned in frustration, tugging at his hair.

"Looking for something, Thief?" A smug voice asked from behind him.  

Bakura flipped around and saw Yami standing at the door.  A smirk played on the Pharaoh's face and he was waving something.

He was about to ask Yami what the hell he was doing there when he focused in on what the Pharaoh was waving.

And the silver hair fiend's eyes widened greatly.  "But…but…how…?"

"Are you looking for this, Bakura?" Yami asked, his voice suddenly quiet.

"Give me that back, damn it!" Bakura growled, "before I take it from you!"

"No, not yet, Bakura, we need to talk first."  

"Give it back, this is your last chance, _Pharaoh_!"

"NO!  We need to talk!"

"No!  There is nothing to talk about."

"Bakura…" 

Yami didn't get to finish, as he was roughly tackled backwards.  

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Lalalala…. the end of Chapter 3. 

::innocently grin::

If you want more, please review.  Do you guys want this to have a happy ending or a dark, angst-filled ending?  Should Bakura live or die?  

Review and I shall continue! ^_^

© Todokanunegai 4-19-03


	4. Bitter Remembrances

-^_^- Glad ya like that last chapter…even though I thought it was a little bland…Well, this chapter should be better.

Disclaimer: ::sniffles:: No own YGO.

Warning: Dark, depressing, shounen-ai, OOCness.  Not for little kids or the hyper sensitive or those with homophobia. Warned you, so don't nag me about it. BTW  - You might need tissues for this chapter…

Clarification: Nahkti = Yami Bakura in Ancient Egypt, Ahmose = Mariku in Ancient Egypt  (Thanks LF! ^_^)

Wounded - Bitter Remembrances

Yami winced as his head made contact with the wall and the rest of his body hit the wooden floor.  

His hand was empty, the journal having flown out of it when he had been suddenly tackled.

Yami shook his head and slowly opened his eyes, only to meet angry mahogany orbs.

Bakura had maneuvered himself so he now sat on Yami's stomach, pinning him down.

He held the journal in his hand.

"You have one minute to tell me how you got this, Pharaoh, before I kill you." Bakura growled.

To make his point, Bakura pulled out a silver dagger and positioned it at Yami's throat.

"No."

"Do you value your life, Pharaoh?"

'This is for Ryou's sake.  I don't want you to hurt him for trying to help the two of us.'

"You won't do it," Yami murmured quietly.

"I won't do what?"

"You won't kill me."

"Would you like to test that?" Bakura glared.

He pushed the blade against Yami's throat, hard enough to draw blood, but not fatal.

Yami bit his lip in pain, but stared defiantly back at Bakura.

"I dare you, Tomb Robber."

Bakura's eyes widened slightly for a millisecond before a cold look appeared in his eyes and a cruel smirked formed on his lips.

"You know I never back down from a challenge." 

"I should know…you never did in Egypt either." Yami muttered bitterly.

"What are you mumbling about, fern head?"

"Nothing you would know of, Tomb Robber.  Now, are you going to kill me or not?  I don't have all day here."

Bakura leaned in until he was nose to nose with Yami.  

"Do you really want to die?"

"Do you really hate me?"

"What do you know?"

"More than you think."

"How much did you read?"

"Everything."

"How did you get this?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?

Bakura groaned in frustration.  "What are you?  Suicidal?"

"Apparently so."

"You're not being funny, Pharaoh."

"I'm not trying to be."

Bakura studied his face and saw that indeed he was not joking.  

The dagger was pulled away from Yami's throat and felt the weight lift from his abdomen as Bakura got up.  

But before Yami could breath a sigh of relief, he was yanked off the floor and pushed into the bedroom, sending him headfirst onto the bed.

"What in the…?"

"Shut up, Pharaoh no baka and sit.  You wanted to talk?  Well, now talk." Bakura glared at him, standing in front of the closed door. "And you are going nowhere until you tell me how you got a hold of this even if we're in here all week."

"Why do you hate me so much, Bakura?" Yami asked, ignoring his demand.

"Because you locked me in the fucking Sennen Ring for the last three thousands years."

"Is that all?"

Bakura avoided his eyes.  "Yes.  And why the hell did you seal me in the Ring in the first place?"

"You don't remember."

"I don't remember what?"

Yami shook his head.  "It's nothing of importance.  Now let me out of this room, Thief."

Yami got off the bed and walked toward Bakura.

"No, you are not leaving this room, until you explain to me what the fuck you are talking about."

"I said, it's nothing of importance, Bakura.  Why the hell would you care?"

"I don't, but since it's obviously something that involves me, I want to know.  And the fact that it's the reason why you sealed me into the Sennen Ring, I definitely want to know.  Don't make me force it out of you, Pharaoh, because you know I will." Bakura stood in the center of the room, glaring at Yami.

"Fine, you want to know?  You want to know that badly?  I'll tell you.  I'll tell you everything damn thing!" Yami growled, pushing Bakura back against the door. 

"It was your fault!  It was all your Ra-damned fault in the first place, Tomb Robber!"

"How is it my fault, Pharaoh?  You're the one who did the sealing." Bakura sneered.

"Shut up and listen, Thief." Yami glowered at him.

"I was a Pharaoh, and you were a Tomb Robber.  We had never met in our lives.  I didn't care for you and you didn't care for me.  But you did care for Mariku.  He was your partner and you were deeply in love with him.  He knew you were in love with him and used it to his advantage.  One day, Mariku extended a challenge to you – If you were able to make me fall in love with you, he would let you do anything you wanted with him.  You, being so obsessed with him and the fact that you refused to turn down any challenge, accepted his challenge.  And we met through some arrangement set up by Mariku.  Apparently he had you thrown in jail.  So, the first time was when I was surveying the criminals in the cells.  You caught my eye.  You were different; there was something about you that drew me to you.  Of course, that made your mission easier.  The more I got to know you, the more I fell for you.  And finally I admitted to you that I loved you.  You just smiled and told me you loved me too.  Me, being the stupid, naïve person I was, was blissfully happy and fell even more in love with you.  That was why I refused to believe it when I was told that you were only using me.  So I confronted you to find out the truth from you…" Yami trailed off, his voice wavering slightly. 

Bakura remained strangely silent and watched Yami who was blinking quickly.  

Yami shut his eyes tightly. 'Ra…this is too painful.'

He walked over to Bakura and placed a hand on his shoulder.  He forced himself to relax.

Bakura looked at him in confusion and felt strange warmth go through him. 'What's going on?'

His eyes slowly closed.

~Flashback~

"Nahkti, we have to talk." The young, tri-colored Pharaoh entered the room, uncertainty playing on his face. 

"Hm?" The white haired Tomb Robber looked up.

Yami missed the wicked gleam in Nahkti's eyes as he kissed him lightly.

"I…I heard some things…that I want you to tell me whether they're true or not…" 

"What is it, my Pharaoh?" Nahkti asked, gently tracing Yami's cheekbones.

The Pharaoh shivered under his touch and forced himself to continue. 

"There is a rumor floating around…that…that…you're using me.  That you don't really love me.  They said that it was all part of a bet you had.  The bet was that if you made me fall in love with you, you would have your way with the one you did really love."

Yami stopped and looked at Nahkti, his eyes silently pleading, "Please…please tell me they are lying to me, that this is all a joke.  I love you so much…please, tell me you love me back…and that everything they said was a joke…" He trailed off waiting for Nahkti's reply.

Nahkti studied Yami for a minute, his face blank.

Yami was startled as malicious smirk appeared on Nahkti's face.  Even more startled when he was pushed backwards.  He staggered slightly, managing to keep his balance.

"Nahkti…?" He questioned.

"You're so stupid, Pharaoh.  You were such an easy conquest.  You let your emotions guide you and didn't notice the obvious deception.  You were fun for a while, but you've gotten boring.  I've been waiting to do this for so long.  The look on your face is priceless." Nahkti smirked at him smugly.

Yami stared at him in shock, "No…no…you are joking…"

"No I'm not, Yami.   I'm telling you the truth.  Get it through that head of yours.  You've been played, Pharaoh."

Nahkti could see the pain written clearly on Yami's face and a satisfaction filled him.  "So the Pharaoh does hurt, doesn't he?  What will his subjects think of him now?  I wonder what they would say to know that their Pharaoh have been played by a lowly Tomb Robber?"

The pain in Yami's eyes was quickly replaced by a scorching fury. "How could you?  How could you?"

"It was quite simple actually."

"I loved you, you cold hearted bastard!  I loved you!  I gave myself to you, my body, my heart, my soul, EVERYTHING!  I hate you! GET OUT!" Yami screamed, tears falling, anger clearly showing on his face.

Nahkti was slightly taken aback by the outburst, but quickly composed himself. "Gladly.  I have to go see Ahmose and claim my prize.  Goodbye Pharaoh."

He walked out of the room, leaving a furious, crying Yami behind him.

The Pharaoh collapsed on his knees, burying his face in his hand. "How could you, Nahkti?  How could you?"

He stayed there, crying, his heart slipping away with the tears.  

The pain he felt was indescribable.  It was beyond excruciating, crushing his heart to dust.  

Yami didn't bother to stop the tears; he couldn't have even if he had tried.  

"Ra…I lied…I lied…I don't hate you.  I still love you so much, Nahkti.  Maybe that's why this is so painful.  Ra…why did you do this to me?  Why?!" Yami yelled bitterly at the wall.  

Silence was his only answer.  

~End Flashback~

Bakura's eyes flew opened and found that he was staring down into hurt filled crimson eyes.  

"Yami…I…"

Yami shook his head. "I'm not done."

Bakura nodded his head and waited for Yami to continue.

The tri-colored hair spirit, took a deep breath. "You went to find Mariku like you had said you would.  And you did find him. Only he was with Jounouchi. You were hurt, pained when you realize that you were also played.  You came back to me, begging for forgiveness, declaring your love for me.  But I couldn't forgive you; my heart was gone when you had walked out the door.  And the more you talked, the angrier, bitterer I got.  I couldn't stand to see you anymore; the sight of your face brought too much pain.  So I sealed you away in the Sennen Ring, so I would never have to see you again…never have to feel the hurt again…"

"You selfish asshole!" Bakura yelled.

Yami stared at him in astonishment. 

"You sealed me away just so you couldn't be in pain?  Did you ever stop to think about how I felt about it?!"

Astonishment turned into anger.  "How you felt?!  How about how I felt when I found out you were using me?!"

"You had no right to destroy my life by sealing me into that damn Ring!  And you have no right to ruin my life now by confusing me with all these emotions!  Why are you in my life now?!  I could have been perfectly happy in this life without you!  I wish you were out of my life _forever_!"

"I HATE YOU!!" Yami slapped Bakura forcefully, "You're still the same cold-hearted bastard you were!  You haven't changed one bit!  I was hoping for a chance to restart over, for us to be together.  But I guess you don't care!  You don't want me in your life.  That's fine.  I'm leaving."

Yami pushed passed Bakura and opened the door.  He looked back at the Tomb Robber who was holding his cheek in his hand.  

"I forgive you, Nahkti.  I forgive you." His voice was soft. "Goodbye."

Then he turned and walked out.

He left a very emotionally confused Tomb Robber staring after him. "Ra…what did I just do?  What am I going to do…?"

Bakura stared at the door, at the spot Yami had last stood. 

He finally let the tears he was holding back slip down his cheeks.  "What am I going to do?"

The crystal droplets splashing onto the floor were his only answer.

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Done!  I'm seriously thinking about this being the last chapter…

But I'll leave it up to you. If you want another chapter, just review ^_^

How was it?  This was the longest chapter I've written for this fic and every other fic…

Well, press the little purple button and REVIEW!

© Todokanunegai 4-20-03


	5. Worth It

OK!  This is the last chapter.  I finally wrote it. 

Everyone, go thank LFangor for nagging me into finally writing this.  And of course, thanks to everyone who reviewed!

Disclaimer: No…I don't own them…

Warning: Shounen-ai, somewhat sappy, OOCness and somewhat…not really depressing though…Now here's the fic.

/…./ - Yuugi to Yami

//…// - Yami to Yuugi

Wounded – Worth It 

"Bakura?" Ryou knocked on the door gently.

"Go away!"

"Bakura, open the door.  What happened?"

"Leave me the fuck alone!"

"Why did Yami run out like that?"

"I don't care!  Why don't you go ask him?"

"Bakura…tell me what happened.  Please!"

"NO!"

"I thought giving him the journal would help."

There was a second of silence before the door was flung violently open.

"So it YOU?!" Bakura growled dangerously.

Ryou backed away from Bakura, looking at the enraged spirit nervously.

"You gave him the journal!" Bakura continued walking toward Ryou, until the teen was backed against the wall.

"I was only trying to help…"

"So you gave him my journal?!  I didn't ask for your help nor did I need it!" Bakura snarled. "What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"I just wanted him to see that you weren't heartless…and maybe that he would forgive you if he saw what you were going through."

"You knew about what happened in Egypt?  And you didn't tell me?!"

"I promised Yuugi that I wouldn't say anything…because Yami hadn't wanted anyone else to know…"

"Am I the only one who had no idea about that?  Now what the hell am I going to do?" Bakura ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"What happened?" Ryou asked softly.

"Your attempt to help me just made everything worse!" 

Ryou waited.

"I told him he was a selfish asshole for sealing me into the Ring so he wouldn't have to deal with the pain of seeing me." Bakura sighed, "And…and I told him…that he was ruining my life…and that…I wish he was out of my life…forever.  So he left." 

Bakura blinked rapidly, refusing to let the tears fall again.  "Ra…that must have been the stupidest thing I could've done."

"You love him, don't you…?"

"…Yes…but what does it matter now…?"  

"I'm so sorry…Bakura…"

"Well, now there's not much that can be done.  I blew whatever chances there were." Bakura turned away and stepped into the room.  "And I would suggest that you stay the hell out of my business next time or you'll wish you were never born." 

The door banged shut.

Ryou winced slightly.

"No…it can't end like this." Ryou muttered, rushing down the stairs.  

He picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello, Yuugi?"

"Yes, I'm ok, is Yami there?"

"Good, I'm coming over.  I'll be there soon." 

Ryou hung up the phone, grabbed his jacket and left his house quickly. 

"It's my fault this happened, so it's up to me to fix it."

/Yami? /

//…//

/Yami?/

//Yes…?// The reply was hoarse and faint.

/Can you come out please?/

//…//

/Please…I want to talk to you./

//What about?//

/About Bakura./

//No.//

/Yami, you can't avoid this forever./

//I can try.//

/Yami…/

//I don't want to talk about it, Yuugi.//

/At least come out./

//No.//

/I'm begging you.  Please?!/

Yuugi received no answer, but a moment later, Yami appeared in front of him.  

The former Pharaoh looked disheveled and his cheeks were tear stained.

He walked over to the couch and sat down wordlessly.

"Yami…"

He looked up startled. "Ryou."

The white haired boy nodded. 

"What are you doing here?"

"Please, go talk to Bakura."

"He doesn't want me in his life, Ryou.  He said so himself.  So I'm not going to be in his life." Yami said bitterly.

"He said it out of anger and frustration.  Bakura didn't mean it."

"No Ryou.  There is no point in talking to him.  All there will be is more pain."

"Yami…just go talk to Bakura.  You don't know what will happen until you try." Yuugi put in.

"But I _did _try and what happened was that Bakura doesn't want me in his life."

"Bakura might do something stupid.  I don't know whether it was smart to leave him by himself.  He's in a lot of pain Yami.  And the only one who can do anything to ease it is you.  He loves you."

Yami got up from the couch and headed to the door. "No he doesn't."

"How do you know?" Ryou asked.

"Because he didn't in Egypt and he doesn't now."

"You are afraid."

Yami was silent.

"You don't want to get hurt, so you're pushing him away." Ryou accused.

"I'm not pushing him away, he's pushing me away."

"No.  You are also pushing him away."

"You love him, Yami." Yuugi said.

"No I don't."

"You are lying, Yami.  We are two halves of a whole.  I know that you love Bakura.  I can feel it."

"I am going for a walk." Yami said quietly.

"Don't give up on him when he pushes you away because that's when he needs you the most, Yami."

The Pharaoh didn't reply as he walked out.

Ryou turned to Yuugi. "Do you think they'll be ok?"

"I don't know, koi.  We have to let their destinies play out."

"I wish they would stop being so stubborn and proud."

"But that's the way they are.  Things will work out the way it's meant to be.  Just give it time."

"Well I wish it would hurry up!"

Yuugi laughed. "You have to be patient."

Ryou sighed, "I just want them to be happy."

Yuugi wrapped his arms around Ryou, "I know.  But it's up to them."

"Yes…let's hope they don't do anything stupid…" Ryou buried his nose in Yuugi's hair.

"As they say…love conquers all."

"Let's hope so…let's hope so…"

~"You had no right to destroy my life by sealing me into that damn Ring!  And you have no right to ruin my life now by confusing me with all these emotions!  Why are you in my life now?!  I could have been perfectly happy in this life without you!  I wish you were out of my life forever!"~

Yami shook his head violently, trying to shake the memory out. "No…no…I promised myself that I wouldn't let this hurt me anymore.  I can't let it affect me."

'You are so deep in denial that it's pathetic.'

"He doesn't love me back.  He doesn't want me around.  What's the use of caring?"

'Do you love him?'

"More than anything."

The voice in his head snorted. 'Well, you sure don't act like it.'

"What do you mean?"

'You're pushing him away and letting him push you away…you're not even trying.  If you love him, you'll go to that house and talk to him.'

"Shut up!  What do you know?  You're just the stupid nagging voice in my head."

'I know more than you think.'

"Just leave me alone!"

'Fine, but as Ryou said, don't give up on him when he pushes you away because that's when he needs you the most.'

"He doesn't need me."

The voice was silent.  

"Ra…Bakura…why do you have to do this to me?  Even now you're hurting me." Tears slipped unnoticed from crimson eyes.

"Maybe Ryou is right…I am afraid…"

Yami stopped in front of Ryou's house and looked up at the house.  "How much longer can I run…?  Maybe…just maybe…this once…it will work out…"

"Please…Ra…just give us another chance…"

The silver blade gleamed in the light of the lamp, smooth and sharp.  Drops of scarlet decorated the silver.

"I hurt him…again…I blew it the second time around…I pushed him away.  In both lifetimes I drove him away."

Tears gleamed in the light, tracing a path down the pale skin.  

"What's the point of living any more?  The only real meaning in my life has slipped away yet again…I never knew how happy I was with him then…but at least I had a chance to be with him then…now…now…he doesn't even realize I love him.  He hates me…"

Placing the blade on the pulse point at his wrist, he murmured an apology, "I'm so sorry, Yami.  I never meant to hurt you…I love you…"

"If you really do, then you won't go through with that."

Bakura's head snapped up, his brown eyes meeting tearful red ones. 

"Y…Yami…?"

"Well, that's my name, Tomb Robber." The tri-colored hair Pharaoh smiled, walking over to him.

"But…but…I…thought…"

Yami kneeled down in front of Bakura and slipped the blade out of Bakura's hands.  

"Well, this is the first time I've ever heard the Tomb Robber stutter.  This is priceless." Yami smirked.

Indignation flashed across Bakura's face.  "You are so damn infuriating Pharaoh!"

Yami laughed. "That's why you love me so much."

"Yes, that's why." Bakura warily reached his hand and intertwined it with Yami's.

The Pharaoh smiled and squeezed back gently.  

They studied each other silently.

"You know, you looked cute in feminine clothes back in Ancient Egypt.  I wonder what you would look like in them now?" Yami broke the silence.

"Don't even think about it Pharaoh.  I refuse to be dressed in female clothing.  I may love you, but I still have my pride!" Bakura said warningly. 

"Aww…come on…please?!"  Yami pouted lightly.  

"No."

Crimson eyes gleamed mischievously.  Yami leaned up and kissed Bakura, pulling away quickly.  "Please?  You'll get more kisses if you do."

"You're resorting to bribing now…I like the bribe…but no."

Yami made his eyes wide and his lips quiver.

"No…"

"Please…it'd make me really happy…"

"No…fine…ok…" Bakura grumbled.

Yami's face lightened up.  "Thank you!" 

Bakura nearly fell backwards as Yami suddenly hugged him.

He held Yami tightly, burying his face against the other's shoulder.

"We've both been through so much pain…all I want now is a chance at happiness for us…together." Yami's voice was sad and hopeful, no longer teasing.

"Yes…I'm so sorry for hurting you, Yami."

"It's alright.  I'm sorry too.  Please…just don't push me away.  Just don't go...don't leave me alone anymore.  I can't stand the pain…the loneliness…"

"I promise I won't…I would never.  I can't, you mean too much to me…and I realized just how much when you left today…"

"I love you so much…"

"I love you…and I always will."

"Forever."

"Forever."

For those who have suffered.

Those who have cried.

Those who have lost.

Those who still loved through the pain and tears.

Second chances are given….

To make everything worth it.

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Done!   

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I didn't disappoint anyone with this.  

I'm currently working on "Touketsu" – YB/YY songfic that's gonna be out soon so go read it when I post it.  Well, bye!  

Review please! 

© Todokanunegai 5-3-03


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